New UNCF Branding Swaps Community Activist Language For Wall Street Lingo

The message of the UNCF's new #BetterFutures campaign "is straightforward. Public service announcements...feature stories of real students who speak about their college aspirations. "My name is Sidney, and I am your dividend," one young woman says, holding up a stock-market ticker." - "United Negro College Fund Updates Its Slogan, and Its Brand," The Chronicle of Higher Education

The United Negro College Fund has adopted a new message for potential donors: Think of students as investments.

Articles on NPR and in the Chronicle of Higher Education explore how the UNCF is modernizing their iconic tagline - "A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste," by adding "But a Wonderful Thing to Invest In." While ending any sentence in a preposition bothers the writer in me, I'm wondering if their intended target audience - younger, wealthier donors - will be engaged by their new "Invest in Better Futures" campaign.

Even though I'm annoyed that the Chronicle seems to have misspelled Sydni's name in their article, check out their coverage and NPR's if you get a chance. The Chronicle piece has interesting stats about how the UNCF spent four years developing their new campaign based on research from their UNCF Case Study / Stock for Social Change (video below) like $10 invested in education for African-American students today will produce $102 worth of benefits for society.

The NPR piece includes has some early UNCF ads (like one below directed by Spike Lee with a voice-over from Samuel Jackson) and asks readers about how they'd solicit donations for the UNCF. Some of the campaign suggestions in the comments are creative.

I'm a fan of good storytelling. I'm not sure if the new ad I watched tells a story, but it does offer a different perspective on philanthropy based in return on investment. I guess the ad is not aimed at me because while I still consider myself young, I'm definitely not wealthy, so I'm not in their target audience. 

I'd love to hear your ideas. Or just your feedback on what you think of their new campaign.

For those who don't know much about the UNCF, here's a bit of primer from the articles: One of the 150 largest philanthropies in the country, the UNCF is the recipient of $150-$160 million a year in donations. More than half of the students who receive scholarship money from the UNCF are the first in their families to attend college, and most come from families with incomes of less than $25,000 a year. The organization founded in 1944 aims to expand its 300,000-donor base to hand out more scholarships and grants to minority students, especially as college costs rise and many historically black colleges and universities face financial struggles.

On an odd note, watching their new ad (below), I noticed the featured student walking past an urban art mural, "Never Give Up," that is in my neighborhood. Life can be so surprising sometimes. Keep on Enjoyceinglife. It's rarely boring. 

Click here to see all of the videos in the #UNCF's #BetterFutures PSA campaign.

What is the best fictional biography you've ever read?

What is the best fictional biography you've ever read? 

I’m doing some research and would love suggestions.

The best I've read so far is “Douglass’ Women” by Jewell Parker Rhodes. Phenomenal!

So what’s yours? Thanks for whatever recommendations you can provide.

And keep on Enjoyceinglife - with a good book - whenever you get a chance!

My Daughter Gave Me the Middle Finger

"Mommy, what does this mean?" I looked in the back seat and my rising second grader was giving me the middle finger. I calmly replied, "It's like a curse word that means forget you, or I don't care about you. It's not nice and don't do it again."

I thought for a second and added, "I'm so glad you asked me what it meant. Did someone do that to you?"

"A girl at camp told me it meant God is bad," she explained.

"Well, I've never heard that before. But like I said, it's not nice, so don't do it again."

"Okay," she said. I watched her pondering my response. A minute later she announced, "I don't believe her, Mommy. I believe you."

And then she segued right into sharing how yet another red robin had landed on a tree outside her bedroom window.

Yesterday, she snuck some candy (stuffed in a wallet placed under her tunic and in her leggings!) to camp. When I caught her (walking funny), I initially defaulted to the standard punishment - no doing whatever it was she wanted to do that evening (bike riding, iPad playing, TV watching), and writing a few sentences about what she did wrong, why it was wrong, and the better choice she'd make next time.

As she was writing, another approach crossed my mind - one that was informed by my own misbehavior 35 years ago. I regaled her with my criminal past: the story of how I was caught by my mother at about the same age stealing one Now & Later candy out of the pack from a grocery store. I hid it in my sandal. Of course, it fell out while we were walking and I suffered dire consequences.

The take-away for my teary-eyed child was the importance of trust and integrity, and how deception is the cousin of lying. I could tell I made a good decision about my reaction to her infraction because of her genuine interest in my story and her verbal response: "I will never, ever, ever, ever do it again."

She's clever and crafty, like her mama. So I don't necessarily believe that she'll never dabble in the untruths or misrepresentations again. But it won't be in the same way. She's learning about values. And that's a win in my parenting book.

Lessons for the last two days: Every question from your child can be a learning opportunity for you both.  And, utilize the best approach to get the lesson learned.

Keep on Enjoyceinglife. It's rewarding.

I Can't Believe I Rejoined MySpace

"If I'm not communicating, I'm not awake."

I have absolutely no idea what got into me today. Well that's not exactly true. No. 1: A co-worker raved about how the new MySpace was really great with all these bells and whistles and stuff and I just could not resist. Now I deleted my MySpace account years ago. But one visit to the souped up Justin Timberlake-owned music site resulted in me signing up, connecting it to a few of my other social media accounts, and promptly posting this tweet to Twitter:

No. 2: Andre Benjamin is still like Kryptonite to me. I was already weak from the new visually stimulating MySpace. When JT threw this Dre playlist on me, I was done.

But that was not the end of my social media exploits today. Oh noooo. I was on a roll. When I saw a friend's engaging About.Me profile on Twitter, it triggered my own long-held interest in creating one, too. Twenty minutes later I had the framework for what I completed this evening.

But did I stop at MySpace and About.Me? Somehow I got sucked into signing up for Quora when I was adding Facebook friends in About.Me and one had a Quora profile link. Friends can be so dangerous. I had to Google Quora to find out its exact purpose. The premise seems cool, a community-curated Q&A site started by two former Facebook employees.

I have a problem, folks. A social media problem. In the last week or so, the magazine lover and information junkie in me has signed up for FlipBoard (which I am really digging) and reengaged with the fabulously updated Flickr. Now I already have Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Google+, YouTube, Pinterest, and Storify. And I know I'm forgetting some site. Oh yes, this blog. I think I need an intervention. 

But the truth is I don't want one. And that may be a problem as well. Aside: Working with the incredible journalist and author Tananarive Due at Spelman College has been such a joy over the past year. But I think the best thing she's said to me so far was at our first get-to-know-each-other lunch:

Paraphrasing -> "Sometimes I get the same high from social media that I get from reading a good story."

That quote is burned in my brain because I feel the exact same way. I love to communicate across various platforms - and not just digitally. Check out my About.Me page and you'll see what I mean. And life is really my intervention. Often when I develop an interest in a new social media platform, I ditch another one or two. I recently deleted numerous apps on my phone, unsubscribed from at least a dozen email newsletters, and I've been on an unfriending binge for the last few weeks. 

And for the most part I've got my priorities in tact. There have been days in a row (!!!) when parenting and work-related deadlines have prevented me from real-time posting (thank you HootSuite). While I did sign up for three social media platforms today in the span of my lunchtime, I still managed to conduct an interview, write an article, and update Inside Spelman. 

I have to admit that I am suffering a bit from a shortened attention span (horrible for a writer who loves to read). But I've got a plan: As much as I hate to do it, I'm going to be more purposeful and organized about my social media engagement - and more frequent disengagement. This approach is part of a larger assessment I'm working on this summer. 

So who thinks I can do it? Who thinks I can post less on social media?

I hope I'm not the only one with my hand raised. 

Keep on Enjoyceinglife. It's a blast. 

The Elusive Black Surfer

Tonight my 1st grade daughter's fluency practice story was about a boy who dreamed of being a surfer. She'd never heard of surfing before, so I cued up some videos on YouTube of children surfing.

And, of course, she asked if girls surfed. I found some videos of women surfing.

Then she asked if Black girls surfed. I had no idea how difficult it would be to find videos of Black girls surfing....Black women surfing....Black people surfing. While I did come up with a few videos (mostly promos for documentaries about Blacks and surfing), there just aren't very many. 

In those twenty minutes, I did get a quick history - via videos - of Blacks and surfing, which dates back to Ghanaians surfing off the coast of West Africa before the slave trade as far as I could quickly see from documentary promos. There are several Black surfing organizations, as well. So I want to find more videos and websites. 

My baby said she'd love to "do that," meaning try surfing. So I'll be doing more research. And somehow make her wish come true - even though we live in land-locked Georgia. I see traveling for this wish fulfillment.

I'm ecstatic she wanted to try it even though she didn't see anyone like her surfing. Exposure and confidence are powerful tools. 

Below are a few videos and websites I found about Black people and surfing. If you've got more, please share. And keep on Enjoyceinglife. It's great!

WEBSITES:

Black Surfing Association

Black Surfing Network

Black Girls Surf

Surf Girls Jamaica

Black People Don't Surf

Ghana Surfing Association



VIDEOS:

Soul on a Wave (documentary)

Black Surfer Documentary (A Soul Surfer's Quest) - Teaser

White Wash - Official Trailer

Black Surfing History KCAL9 News

U.S. Open of Surfing 2012 Sal Masekela on his Post Heat Win North Side

Sal Masekela's Waves

Black Surfer Chick Andrea Kabwasa:  A Story to Empower Women in Abusive Relationships

"Pants on the Ground" Singer Takes on the Ku Klux Klan

The man who sang the song "Pants on the Ground" on American Idol introduced himself to me in Kroger today - right in front of the milk refrigerators. He sang the song, showed me his "Pants on the Ground" belt buckle, and told me that he'd been "all on American Idol and everywhere" and that Rep. John Lewis had given him a plaque. He struck up a conversation by telling me that he was glad he didn't go to the Boston Marathon, and showed me a plastic bag full of medals (and a few around his neck) of a bunch of marathons he said he'd attended. I was kind of perplexed, and for some reason could not turn away. It was like I was caught up in the strangeness of it all.

He also said he was going down to the Georgia state capital this Saturday to protest against the Ku Klux Klan, who would be having a rally there (and that's true. Well it's a Neo Nazi rally). I gave him a pound and told him to "Keep up the good fight!" His name is Gen. Larry Platt and he "encouraged" me to tell everyone on "Google" that he is not dead. So folks, Gen. Platt is alive - and on the case. It's been quite a day. And I'm still Enjoyceinglife - hope you are, too.

 

Appreciating My Role in Spelman College's Legacy of Educating Black Women

Today is the 132nd anniversary of the founding of Spelman College, pictured above in 1884 and 2012. While I did not attend Spelman (shout out to Howard University), I'm a native of Atlanta and spent many years attending various programs and events on this campus and others in the Atlanta University Center.

Class of 1892

Seeing women of African descent excelling intellectually and culturally has always had a profound impact on my development. After years editing consumer magazines, I never had any idea that I would end up in higher education. But I am so proud - and thankful - to work at Spelman and support the important mission of this incredible institution.

Class of 2012 

Want to know more about Spelman? Check out Inside Spelman, the digital publication that I edit for the college. Keep on Enjoyceinglife!  

Mo'Nique Told Me Love Spurred Her Weight Loss Journey

Comedian and Oscar award-winning actress Mo’Nique spoke of the moment she knew she needed to make a change in her health practices when her husband gave her a nudge about her weight gain a few years ago. “He said ‘That’s too much, baby. I want you for a lifetime. I love you so much that I can’t lie to you,” she remembered. “I had never felt that type of love before.”  - Personalizing the Wellness Revolution, Inside Spelman

That's what Mo'Nique told a packed chapel during a recent Spelman College convocation about the importance of wellness. But earlier that morning, during our interview, Mo'Nique shared that it was more than just love from her husband that spurred her into a more active and healthy lifestyle. 

"For a long time I was a child in my way of thinking. I thought that I could eat what I wanted, do what I wanted - and was reckless in the sense of abusing my body. That's when I was younger. I think that the journey I have to take now is that I have babies. I have a son 23, but I also have a son nine. And we have twins, seven. I want to meet their children. I want to be able to play with their children. I don't want to be a burden on my family due to self-neglect....I was fortunate to watch my grandmother play with my children. I want to be in the same position." - Video: Mo'Nique Gets Personal at Spelman's Wellness Revolution 

Having been on my own wellness journey over the past few years - and recently realizing that my path requires continuous adjustments to my fitness and nutrition practices - I was so appreciative of Mo'Nique's honesty. I've interviewed the actress numerous times about her entertainment projects, but this has been our most important conversation. Her reasons for wanting to maintain a healthy lifestyle mirror mine: I have to stay active and around for my child. I want to continue enjoying life. Being healthy makes that easier. And, of course, I want to stay fine as wine.

So when things get challenging for you, find your inspiration where ever you can. And be open, because it may show up in places that you don't expect. Check out the link at the top of this post to the piece I wrote for Inside Spelman, the digital publication I edit at Spelman, for more wise words about wellness journeys, practices and mindsets from these brave and thoughtful women below. 

I was moved by the testimony of Danielle Winfrey (far left), a senior who told the powerful story of how Spelman’s wellness program has aided her in her transformation. More about her significant weight loss, and fitness and nutrition regimen on page six of Spelman's Philanthropy Report. Panelist Tracye McQuirter (third from right), a vegan and public health nutrition expert, recounted the emotion of Danielle meeting Mo'Nique on her blog By Any Greens Necessary: 

"Danielle told Mo’Nique how she was teased as a child for being a big girl and how much Mo’Nique meant to her growing up. And now, how Mo’Nique’s weight loss journey has helped inspire Danielle to become a Wellness Scholar at Spelman, run 5k marathons, and coach her Spelman sisters to exercise more." 

Hosted by Spelman President Beverly Daniel Tatum (far right), the convocation titled "The Best Advice I Ever Got: Conversations with Wise Women," was a part of the "Black Women and the Wellness Revolution" speaker series.  Also on the panel were noted psychologist and author Dr. Brenda Wade (second from left) and the amazing Deborah Szekely, the 91-year old co-founder of the modern health and fitness movement.

At the end of the convocation, Mo'Nique was swarmed by Spelman students, several of whom were so affected by Mo'Nique's story that they were overcome by emotion. It was a beautiful motivating moment. Look for those. Encouragement comes from everywhere - even inside you. 

If you're free this Wednesday evening, March 27 from 8-9 p.m., join the #SpelmanWellness tweet chat on Twitter for tips about nutrition. You'll be surprised how health practices for college students can work for you, too. And keep Enjoyceinglife! 

Why is it okay to blame and harass sexual assault victims?

I am so sick of sexual assault victims being blamed for being attacked. Who are these people? I'm livid. This is such a parenting issue about preventative measures, teaching your children (boys and girls, from a very early age) about appropriate behavior in interpersonal relationships and on social media, and what to do if you see it or encounter it. This seems so freaking common sense. 

Why is it okay to violate somebody? Anybody? Ever? And why would you ever blame those violated for the attack or for speaking up and reporting it when it happens? There is just no empathy or understanding, and totally misplaced priorities. Some conversations are NOT being had. I'm disturbed, sad, and pissed.

I posted this on Facebook, but wanted to hear your comments and feedback in this space. Thanks for your thoughts.

Background and more on Steubenville rape case via NPR.

My Daughter Surrounded by the Beauty of Black Women's Brilliance

When I took this photo February 21, 2013, I didn't really realize its significance. As a matter of fact I was working in my communications capacity at Spelman College, trying to capture what I could tell was an important moment between academic and activist-oriented Black women. And my daughter, cute as she is, just eased her way into the picture. I even shooed her away.


But after a powerful evening of commentary and more from author, professor and MSNBC host Melissa Harris Perry - through which my first grader mostly slept - this photo haunted me so that I could not go back to sleep after waking at 4:30 the next morning.

All I kept thinking was: look at this child - my child - who barely has an inkling of the brilliance surrounding her. She just wanted to be in the photo. And here she is in the midst of what I saw as a moment of pride and engagement between the three Black women on the left who laid the foundation for the Black woman on the right.

From left to right: Dr. Cynthia Neal Spence is an associate professor of sociology with interests in criminology, law and violence against women. She also serves in a leadership role of Spelman's Social Justice Fellows Program; Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum is president of Spelman and author of numerous books including "Can We Talk About Race? And Other Conversations in an Era of School Resegregation;" and Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall is the founding director of Spelman's Women's Research and Resource Center and an adjunct professor at Emory's Institute for Women's Studies. She is the author of a number of texts about African American and women's studies, including the first anthology of Black women's literature, "Sturdy Black Bridges: Visions of Black Women in Literature."

And then there is Melissa Harris Perry, who I'd been following since she was writing at her Kitchen Table blog and who I now watch most weekend mornings on her self-titled show on MSNBC. I don't always agree with her or even have an interest in every topic she addresses. But I enjoy her perspective and the disparate voices she regularly brings to the table. Plus I'm of a generation that remembers when images like hers - braids and all - were so very rare in the role of moderator and driver of important conversations.

There were so many interesting moments in her visit to Spelman, book-ended by Black History Month and Women's History Month. You can see some in the tweets I and others posted to Twitter during the event: "Melissa Harris Perry on Fire at Spelman College!"

Harris was much more forthright and fearless in her analysis of shame stereotypes, and Black women in America, the topics she addresses in her book, "Sister Citizen." There were no national cameras there to temper her sharp envelope-pushing wit. Listening to her I felt like I did when studying Paula Giddings' "When and Where I Enter: The Impact on Black Women on Race and Sex in America" as a student at Howard University. Or when Joan Morgan's "When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost" flipped my consciousness upside down in the nineties. I appreciate Harris Perry for her passion in her path - and I learn a lot from her, even when she rubs me the wrong way.

And I was so happy that my daughter was able to attend - even on a school night (this was educational, too) and that my friend could finagle a book signing for me when it was obvious that it was time for my daughter to go home.

I hope you'll have some special moments this Women's History Month. Keep Enjoyceinglife!

Joyce the Art Critic? Spelman College's Museum Wants Your Reflections on Their Collection

María Magdalena Campos-Pons discussing "Dreaming of An Island" 

I had the most amazing experience today. I got a call from Anne Collins Smith, curator of  collections for the Spelman College Museum of Fine Art, the only museum in the United States dedicated to visual art made by and about women of the African Diaspora. Anne was reminding me of my interest in participating in "Multiple Choice: Perspectives on the Spelman College Collection," the museum's upcoming community-curated exhibition of their permanent collection.

Basically I will be able to provide my reflections on a piece of art that touches me - and my commentary will be part of this exhibit of works by luminaries like Faith Ringgold, Jacob Lawrence, Elizabeth Catlett, Maria Magdalena Campos-Pons and Hale Woodruff. Being shown breathtaking art in a private tour today and having Anne tell me such interesting stories behind the creation of some of the works and how they became part of the Museum's collection was more than I'd expected. As a storyteller, I was moved to awe.

When you work someplace where you encounter such greatness, important history, and inspiration on a regular basis, you can - unbelievably to some - take it for granted. You can forget what is right outside your office, a few steps away from your desk. The stories I'm privy to at Spelman - from the driven students to the renowned guests and pioneering elders - are without a doubt the best benefit of my work here. I'm so glad Anne called to remind me because participating in this exhibition is a soul-feeding opportunity I did not want to miss.

I won't divulge to you which piece of art was my match to provide reflections. That will definitely be in a later blog post. But I did want to encourage you - anyone reading Enjoyceinglife - that you, too, can participate in this amazing endeavor. You don't have to be in Atlanta. The museum is inviting students, faculty, staff, friends of the museum, alumnae, and anyone who may be interested to participate. But time is running short. If you're interested please contact Anne Collins Smith, at 404-270-5604 or annesmith@spelman.edu.

LaTanya Richardson Jackson in August's Wilson's "Jo Turner's Come and Gone."

On another Spelman note, I had a fantastic conversation yesterday with Spelman alumna LaTanya Richardson Jackson, a veteran of the stage and screen who will be directing August Wilson's "Two Trains Running" via Kenny Leon's True Colors Theatre Company at the Southwest Arts Center in Atlanta, Feb. 12 - Mar. 10. Our discussion was so entertaining. I learned a great deal about her path to theatrical success. And we talked about everything from her time on Spelman's stage and her Broadway debut - ironically in August Wilson's "Jo Turner's Come and Gone" - to her passionate thoughts on her husband Samuel Jackson's role in "Django Unchained." I was not ready for her fire. But I was energized afterwards. Stay tuned for more about our conversation in an upcoming issue of Inside Spelman, the digital publication I edit for the college.

Keep Enjoyceinglife! It's grand.

VIDEO: Iyanla Vanzant Tells Me How Black Women Can "Fix" Their Lives

Iyanla Vanzant has a thoughtful demeanor when she speaks, even though there is not much hesitation when you ask her a question. The host of "Iyanla: Fix My Life" on Oprah Winfrey's OWN network had a lot to say when I recently interviewed her at Spelman College [VIDEO]. She shared her thoughts on depression, how women can use technology to "fix" their lives, and how young black women can maintain their sense of self in a world that often seems bent on objectifying them. I enjoyed our enlightening conversation, and felt I gained more insight into her philosophy on "fixing" people's lives. 

Keep on Enjoyceinglife!

Wordless Wednesday: Elated! Four More Years!!!

The Best Tweets: 2nd Presidential Debate 2012

I love this photo from last night's second presidential debate. It is such a telling picture. Here are some tweets that made me laugh, scream, stand up on my sofa, and literally throw stuff at my computer. It was a riotous evening - and the best presidential debate I've ever seen. These tweets are a snapshot of the Storify I created from debate, which includes video clips of my favorite parts and some great photos. Enjoy! 

"I don't look at my pension. It's not as big as yours." POTUS. #debates

First time Romney didn't bully Candi: When #Obama told #Romney how he was diff than #Bush. Romney had not. one. thing. to. say. #debates

Equal pay for women is the single most powerful economic stimulus we could institute.- Gloria Steinem ow.ly/exd6H #FB #election2012

Cool infographic from @USAToday: We asked what you thought of the #debateinoneword and here are your responses: pic.twitter.com/seMhUi1W

Romney and Obama are circling each other onstage, looking like they're ready either for a fight or a debate dance-off. #debates

RT @MissKristilyn: "You don't turn national security into a political issue, certainly not right when it's happening." - Pres. Obama #fb

Libya: Obama To Romney On Rose Garden Remarks:  'Get The Transcript'

#Crowley, #Obama & a #transcript having a fact-checking#Libya smackdown party! RT @harryallen: What was the best moment of the #debate?

#Obama couldn't have planned this better if he tried. #Romney saying he cares abt 100% of ppl opened door 4 Obama 2 close w 47%. #debates

Totally thinking the same thing! U KNOW they had 'the talk.' RT @VidaLov: Aw Michelle restored her man! Yes First Lady! #TeamBarack #debates

From me, a #singlemom: I'm freaking offended that Romney's answer to assault weapons is for me to get married! #RUCrazy or #DoUThinkImCrazy

Apparently, my being single is getting people shot. Someone get me a date before another life is lost.#debates

Yes! Saved from #AssaultWeapons! RT @jesseltaylor I remember when I put a ring on my bride's finger & she stopped doing drive-bys. #debates

More tweets, photos and videos in my Storify. Keep on Enjoyceinglife! JD

Living Single With Faith, Hope & Purpose - Ebony Magazine

If you're free TONIGHT, Wednesday, Sept. 26, at 8 pm, please join me (@Enjoyceinglife) and @EbonyMag for their FIRST ever Twitter chat based on "Single Ladies," my article about the state of dating and relationships in the October issue of Ebony Magazine. 

Having a real conversation about the state of dating and relationships with six single African American women in Atlanta was not at all what I expected. While I never thought the discussion I was moderating for Ebony Magazine would be a male-bashing session, I did not expect it to be as empowering for me as it was.

I was dreading bringing up the unmarried statistics or unearthing the media's favorite dead horse: "Why can't black women find good black men?" But the ladies even had interesting perspectives on those tired aspects of the reality of their lives that, as a thorough journalist, I had to address. What was most encouraging, especially because I'm single, too, is the positive outlook that all of the women - ages 27 to 43 - had about their prospects for a satisfying relationship in their future.

Outside of my cousin Krystal Gambrell, and a new friend I met that evening, Alisa Benjamin, I'd known all of the women a year or so mostly through our professional relationships. But as sisters sometimes do, we had a little wine, cheese, fruit and desert in the comfort of my parents' home, and fell into an easy conversation about what can be a hard and painful topic. Their clear-eyed comments were refreshing. Some of my favorites had to do with dating as a single parent, which speaks to my experience:

"It's my job to make sure my son respects me and doesn't see different men in an out of the house. With most guys, it increases their respect for me because I guess it shows that I have values and standards." - Kia Smith

"Someone has more of an advantage when he has children, and I can really hone in on what type of father he is. Are you the father who sees his child once a month and that's OK with you? That's not a good sign that you want to be there for my children." - Tracy Nicole

We did talk about being approached by married men, online dating, the endless pressure to get married, and, of course, how quickly sex comes into play. But the most moving part of the discussion came when the ladies shared the importance of faith, hope and purpose:

"[When I was in my 20s] I thought that walking down the aisle, having a ring and a baby would complete me....But I hadn't found my purpose...Now that I am focused, I can't keep the guys away. When guys see you are a woman who is focused and driven, you don't have to worry about the numbers." - Erin Harper

"When I say I have hope, it's because of [my previous marriage]. I have hope that if [my first husband] found me, then somebody else is going to find me. I want to be open to the same type of integrity that he had and the trust that I had in him and not be guarded because of all the stuff that we do see. I know it's real, but that relationship was real, too." -  Cecilia Bailey

So if you see Gabrielle Union grinning at you from the newsstand over the next few weeks, check out my piece in the October issue of Ebony. Can't wait? Here's a pretty good excerpt. There's also a roundtable of single black men in Washington, D.C., in the same issue that is certainly eyebrow-raising. I'd love to hear your thoughts about their perspectives on dating and relationships as well.

Okay, so my 6-year-old daughter - on her birthday - records a video - through a patio window - of a photo shoot that is being done of a round table about dating and relationships I conducted for Ebony Magazine. My wonderful mother provided direction to the photographer, who was so gracious in his acceptance of her suggestions. I love how my baby handles an iPhone and how my mother always has my back! You just can't beat family.

I am so honored that Ebony's FIRST ever Twitter chat is based on my article!!! Hope to see you on Twitter TONIGHT, Wednesday, Sept. 28, at 8 pm, for @EbonyMag's chat about dating and relationships. I'll be tweeting from @Enjoyceinglife. I can't wait to hear your feedback!

Keep on Enjoyceinglife!